A Change in direction and Letting Go

I had a plan, that when I got past the 2 O'clock feeds stage with Charlotte that I would get back into my little studio and start creating, get my little business up and running, design new collections of jewellery and sell them in my Etsy and Folksy shops. The 2 O'clock feeds took a lot longer to drop than I anticipated, in fact she never slept through the night until she was into her second year. Many months of sleep deprivation is something that took me a long time to accept and deal with. I was lucky with my first 3 children all were sleeping through the night by 14 weeks even the 3rd who was breast fed, I now realise that I was a very lucky mummy back then.

I don't know whether it has anything to do with the age difference in me,  I totally love her, but at times it has been such hard work. My energy levels and my expectations of myself in being a good mum don't always match up. I try to be the best I can be and expect more of myself than is physically possible some days.

I know there are lots of Mums out there who do it, stay at home and be with their children, try to build a business up slowly as they go along, blog about it, sell online, sell at fairs and through shops etc and it works well for them and I totally admire them, but after months of trying, making, hoping, listing, waiting and talking things over with Kevin, I've finally admitted to myself that this isn't for me. It's not working, I'm not getting anything out of it.
So I'm letting go..... It seems that if you are not willing to give 90% of your day over to constant self-promotion online through facebook, twitter etc then your work is just not going to get noticed and I'm not willing to use my precious time in this way.
In my heart I'm an artist and that is what I'm going to concentrate on. I need to spend the time that I do have for me exploring, drawing, painting, experimenting with stitch, fabrics and thread. When you start making things specifically to sell something gets lost, forgotten, unused and I miss that ..... I want it back!

My first journal page, I can now understand how therapeutic creating a journal page can be!

So I'm going to do just that, ....get it back!...... forget about making to sell, spend more time exploring, being creative and enjoying the time that I get to spend in my little studio.

It's a new beginning in a way and I'm excited about it! It would be nice if you, my little list of 41 followers will stay with me for the creative journey.

Sparkle

This is 'Sparkle' I mailed her off yesterday to her new home in the Netherlands. I had thought about making a star shaped art doll and the opportunity to join a swap for one came along on swap bot so I joined in. The swap was called star Dotee, although I don't think she is a Dotee. To me Dotees are Dotee shaped and I would think that this is more of an art doll.

She was fun to make and although quite plane, she is very sparkly with iridescent sequins and beads sewn all over her and a diamante on her tail.

Sunshine

With the weather here in Scotland being so changeable on a day to day basis I thought I would post a little sunshine .........

& here she is ......... my latest Dotee doll

EG Dotee Doll Workshop

At our monthly Embroiderers Guild meeting we had a little workshop making Dotee Dolls.
We had such a fun time and most ladies had their dolls almost complete by the end of the evening meeting. I'm sure you will agree that they all look fab!

Daisy ~ Dotee Doll

I wanted to make another Dotee doll with lots more beadwork & this is the result, Daisy Dotee. She is going somewhere special, I shall be posting her far away to a lovely lady who brightened up my day and made me smile with a very long email & whom I think she is just perfect for :o)

Peaceful happy face......

Pictures of more completed projects tomorrow...........

Unfinished

I wanted a gentle looking face and I think it works but the more I look at this Dotee doll No two.
I dont think she is finished she needs more....... dont you think? I might work on her some more.
I think more embelishment around her face might be what's missing. I'll post another picture when I get more done.

My third one has a lot more beading on her and I think its what making me look at this one again and its saying More! more!